Our yesterday my tomorrow
by totem
Summary: Set in season four after Phoebe killed Cole in the pent house. Her feelings of there relationship, and the future they never got to share together. Short fic. Please RR


**Our yesterday – my tomorrow**

_Song lyrics – P.O.D – will you _

Set in season four after Phoebe killed Cole in the pent house. Her feelings of there relationship, and the future they never got to share together.

**See you sittin' next to the window in the bedroom She breaks down**

**Cryin' over something and starin' into nothing Afraid now**

**Wanting, needing, haunting its killing me**

**Thinking what has happened to live the life like that, man**

**I break down**

**It's fake now**

When they ask how I'm doing I smile, a smile filled with so much sadness. What do they expect? Me to be fine with this? I have a baby... who's father, my husband I have just helped them kill, with deadly words. I killed him!

I thought that I could join him. I had to do something...I love him.

LOVED? LOVE?

I don't know anymore. Piper has her husband, has her perfect life. Me I have a child, a little baby who's father I killed. Why don't they understand...I'm not okay...I never will be okay?

There was a knock on the door earlier I was on my bed, back to the door, burning tears fell down my face. It was not my sisters...that I could tell. 'but who was this?' I remember wondering. But I could not care less.

He put his hand on my shoulder as he sat on the bed, LEO! He spoke words...but I didn't listen. I couldn't.

The tears stopped, but the pain never. He hugged me. My brother held onto me and this made it worse. I remembered when Cole held me like Leo did. I closed my eyes with my head rested on Leo and I remembered, his face, his touch...he was a live. For them few seconds...

He was alive...

Life was what it should be –

My baby had a father...

I had my love.

But when I opened them he was dead...just as dead as before. But he is not dead in my heart.

**Afraid and out of reasons to fight the way she's feeling She breaks down**

**Goin' through the motions and holdin' onto hopes and a dream now**

**Shaken, mistaken, forsaken**

**Its killing me**

**Wishing you can change**

**But he's always been the same**

**If you leave now I'll drown**

when I met him for the first time...He was just a A.D.A. When he stopped been the assistant district attorney I thought he was...he killed a part of me. When that monster came...a part of me left. And it never came back...NEVER WILL.

I always knew that he was that guy, but I tried to kid myself. Did I expect too much...

I just wanted to be loved. And I was...most of the time. But not all the time...

The night I was in his apartment...

When I thought he was hurt, in danger...

I know now that I could never have been so wrong. I think I truly knew when Leo tried to heal him...

Then I knew that this guy was fake. Not the A.D.A that I fell for. Not fully. But I was blinded by the need for this man. My man. The only man in a long time...that made me feel whole.

That night, when Leo looked up at me after he tried to heal him. I saw it in his Eyes...but I tried to push it away.

DENILE? Yeah, I was in denial.

The first, full blow that pulled me into pieces, shattered. Was when my sisters burst in through the door and he morphed. My heart shattered, my dreams and hopes along with it. He killed me then. Just like I have killed him. NOW.

But my baby, our baby. I fear for him. I fear that I will not be enough...

**Will you love me tomorrow?**

**So will you**

**Will you stay with me today?**

My hand resting on my stomach I sit, just wanting my family back. My husband, He promise that he'd always love me. How can I trust a man who was not the man I thought he was. A man filled with so much, deceit and falseness.

I often wonder, Was I ever truly loved?

Piper and Paige, they just don't get it. He was my man. Maybe to them he was nothing...but to me, he was my everything. Now my everything is gone...

Just what would it be like to have my everything once more. To have my love, my man, my life back for one last day?

DELLUSIONAL? No doubt about it. But wouldn't you be? If you lost...your everything.

**Will you love me tomorrow?**

**So will you**

**Will you stay with me today?**

**Will you**

**Will you be here tomorrow?**

**So will you**

**You'll remember yesterday.**

I live day by day, force my way through. I have no future, I have no tomorrow because you not be with me. You are gone.

It hurts to see Piper and Leo together, because that's what we had, a love, so strong. But not strong enough. When I sleep, I dream of you, I dream of what we had. Our yesterday. What do I have to do to be with you again. And I can not be sure if we'll be together in death.

Right now I can not be sure of anything.

You broke me, and left me alone to pick up the pieces but will I ever put myself back together. Not fully! Not ever!

Because you were a piece of me. That will never be given back.

No one will ever understand...Love...not like I did. Do! I lost you to evil. I lost my world. Our baby is all I have left...

You were my yesterday. The baby is my tomorrow.

**Will you**

**Will you love me tomorrow?**

**So will you**

**Will you stay with me today?**

**Will you**

**Will you be here tomorrow?**

**So will you**

**You'll remember yesterday.**


End file.
